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| Ridge Heights Confident Going into Big Game |
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By Justin Gough
The Chili Peppers expect to continue their domination over Forest Hills when the two
squads meet in their upcoming Flag Football match. Ridge Heights and Forest Hills
will square off on Feb 18th as they will kick off the 2006 GoGoPlanet Olympics. Team
Captain Justin “Go Go” Gough had this to say about Forest Hills.
Ridge Heights has been practicing in rain-like conditions so they are ready come Feb
18th. Even though rain isn’t necessarily in the forecast, they know when Joey
Evansco steps on the field, he will drool on the ball and make things slippery. That
and all the afro streaks left on the ground after Corey Wilmingham falls as well as the
constant crying of Forest Hills leader Neal Gough should make the playing field as
slippery as the KY jelly in Jessica Hadfield’s asshole. And if Marisel has an orgasm,
watch out people, the game might be called due to typhoon like conditions (at least
she has two floating devices big enough to save both teams from drowning). Here is
what some Chili Peppers had to say.
“I am drunk”, said Kurt Schreier from Demos at 2:30 in the afternoon and crying about
how broke he is after gambling on seven Division III college basketball games. “Hey
watch this, I can flip a cigarette into my mouth, just watch, watch, ok ready (after Kurt
fails for the 10,000th time in his life) ok ready, one more chance, just watch, ok ready.”
“Yo Yo Yo, chek dis out rite quick,” said Tim Terrell while wearing camouflage shorts,
a skull cap, five wristbands, three shirts that are all different colors, and a pager that
doesn’t even work . “I am funna catch the rock and show off da skillz dog, endzone
baby, which endzone? The WEST SIDE booooooyyyyy.”
“If I could be any animal, I would have a giraffe neck and shoot spider webs,” said
Steve Galinski. “If you had a giraffe neck you would need a car with a sun roof."
The wide receivers of Ridge Heights will look to take advantage of Forest Hills weak
and retarded secondary. QB Danny Alvarez expects to have a field day against these
idiots. Behind Alvarez will also be an effective running game with Justin Thacker and
Scott Green leading the way.
“Yeah hand me the ball,” said Justin Thacker while inhaling a teaspoon of glutamine.
“I clean and jerk 385, I snatch 297 and my best 1/4 rep back squat was 980!!! My
bench sucks because I hardly ever hit it but 300 for 5 and 350 for 1. And drumroll
please....................405 deadlift for 19 reps!!! At 181 pounds at 19 years of age!!!
(With a belt and wrist wraps). Justin Thacker fuckin rules!!! Fuck Odoyle!”
Scott Green later added “Well let me tell you this story, it’s going to take a while,
probably a half hour and I am going to throw in many insignificant facts but I’ll tell it
anyways.” Scott was then distracted because he thought he smelled deer urine and
ran into the woods.
“I hope someone gets hurt so I can practice my nursing skills on them,” said Sean
Gregory while watching Will & Grace and dreaming of his days of being a nurse. “I will
have my rubber gloves ready just in case someone slips and gets something lodged
up there asshole, which would be a dream of mine, especially if it was Todd Althardt,
his ass is dreamy.”
The Chili Peppers expect to continue their domination over Forest Hills when the two
squads meet in their upcoming Flag Football match. Ridge Heights and Forest Hills
will square off on Feb 18th as they will kick off the 2006 GoGoPlanet Olympics. Team
Captain Justin “Go Go” Gough had this to say about Forest Hills.
Ridge Heights has been practicing in rain-like conditions so they are ready come Feb
18th. Even though rain isn’t necessarily in the forecast, they know when Joey
Evansco steps on the field, he will drool on the ball and make things slippery. That
and all the afro streaks left on the ground after Corey Wilmingham falls as well as the
constant crying of Forest Hills leader Neal Gough should make the playing field as
slippery as the KY jelly in Jessica Hadfield’s asshole. And if Marisel has an orgasm,
watch out people, the game might be called due to typhoon like conditions (at least
she has two floating devices big enough to save both teams from drowning). Here is
what some Chili Peppers had to say.
“I am drunk”, said Kurt Schreier from Demos at 2:30 in the afternoon and crying about
how broke he is after gambling on seven Division III college basketball games. “Hey
watch this, I can flip a cigarette into my mouth, just watch, watch, ok ready (after Kurt
fails for the 10,000th time in his life) ok ready, one more chance, just watch, ok ready.”
“Yo Yo Yo, chek dis out rite quick,” said Tim Terrell while wearing camouflage shorts,
a skull cap, five wristbands, three shirts that are all different colors, and a pager that
doesn’t even work . “I am funna catch the rock and show off da skillz dog, endzone
baby, which endzone? The WEST SIDE booooooyyyyy.”
“If I could be any animal, I would have a giraffe neck and shoot spider webs,” said
Steve Galinski. “If you had a giraffe neck you would need a car with a sun roof."
The wide receivers of Ridge Heights will look to take advantage of Forest Hills weak
and retarded secondary. QB Danny Alvarez expects to have a field day against these
idiots. Behind Alvarez will also be an effective running game with Justin Thacker and
Scott Green leading the way.
“Yeah hand me the ball,” said Justin Thacker while inhaling a teaspoon of glutamine.
“I clean and jerk 385, I snatch 297 and my best 1/4 rep back squat was 980!!! My
bench sucks because I hardly ever hit it but 300 for 5 and 350 for 1. And drumroll
please....................405 deadlift for 19 reps!!! At 181 pounds at 19 years of age!!!
(With a belt and wrist wraps). Justin Thacker fuckin rules!!! Fuck Odoyle!”
Scott Green later added “Well let me tell you this story, it’s going to take a while,
probably a half hour and I am going to throw in many insignificant facts but I’ll tell it
anyways.” Scott was then distracted because he thought he smelled deer urine and
ran into the woods.
“I hope someone gets hurt so I can practice my nursing skills on them,” said Sean
Gregory while watching Will & Grace and dreaming of his days of being a nurse. “I will
have my rubber gloves ready just in case someone slips and gets something lodged
up there asshole, which would be a dream of mine, especially if it was Todd Althardt,
his ass is dreamy.”
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“Neal’s team (Forest Hills) has no chance of winning this
game. I mean think about it, their number two wide receiver,
Joseph Evansco, looks like the love child between Butt-head
and Randy from ‘My Name is Earl’. He also waxes his chest
hair and he makes Richard Simmons look like an elite
athlete”.
game. I mean think about it, their number two wide receiver,
Joseph Evansco, looks like the love child between Butt-head
and Randy from ‘My Name is Earl’. He also waxes his chest
hair and he makes Richard Simmons look like an elite
athlete”.
Joey Evansco (top)
The Chili Peppers have ordered uniforms for the
game (logo is pictured to the left) and Aaron
Wilkerson is bitchin like a baby about it because it will
cost him $11.
“But that’s $11, that’s like two trips to the Chinese
Buffet,” said the 215 pound Aaron Wilkerson while
impulse shopping for the most super coolest music
gear there is.
game (logo is pictured to the left) and Aaron
Wilkerson is bitchin like a baby about it because it will
cost him $11.
“But that’s $11, that’s like two trips to the Chinese
Buffet,” said the 215 pound Aaron Wilkerson while
impulse shopping for the most super coolest music
gear there is.